I’ve been very lucky and grateful to be able to live in Japan for the past 3 years or so (in addition to the time that I spent in Japan being a kid). It is such a beautiful country with an interesting mixture of modernity and culture, a state-of-the-art public transportation system, and it’s a great place to live given how clean and safe the entire country is.
But undeniably, just like Disney, beauty also comes with the beast.
One well-known thing about Japan is that everything is super organized and people are hard-working and disciplined. While this is somewhat true, I found this a bit scary.
Are We Human? Or Are We Dancers?
Up until mid-2022, I had a weekly part-time job as an English teacher in an after-school juku school. Every single week, I had to come to the school at the exact same time, and with how on-time trains are in Japan, I knew exactly which train to take, literally down to the minutes. At first, it was great because I could tell what time I had to leave and what time exactly I would arrive. However, after some time, I realized something weird.
Every week, at a particular station, I would see the same group of students board the train. Once I got off the train, in the 5-minute walk to the school, I would see the same people working at the convenience store, then the bus from the other direction was gonna go past me, and the same group of moms would just be done dropping off their kids. It didn’t feel weird during the first few weeks, but more and more, it almost felt like everything and everyone, me included, was “choreographed” to do the same routine every week if not every single day. Just like a dancer who cannot step out of the line and beat.
This very much reminds me of the song Human by The Killers.
Are we human
Or are we dancer?
The Silence Eats You Alive
Being in Japan allows you to not say a word (or even make a sound) most of the time. For example, it is a custom to stay silent on the bus/train, unlike in places like Indonesia or the US where you can have conversations out of nowhere with a stranger. If you wanna get some drinks, you don’t even have to bother going to convenience stores and face the cashier. You can simply find vending machines almost at all corners. Even many restaurants now also don’t have waiters writing down the orders anymore.
At first, I thought it wouldn’t take a toll on me. But when I went to the US and experienced how interactive people are anywhere at all times, I felt so overwhelmed. It’s almost like I didn’t have the energy to match them even if I wanted to. I realized that I actually became more reserved than I ever was.
Social life is also tough in Japan. For me, it is especially difficult as I came to Japan during the pandemic and most of my classmates were attending classes online from their own countries as they were not able to come to Japan. Making friends with Japanese students or Japanese, in general, was also not the easiest as there were not so many opportunities to meet and talk with them. We all were busy with our studies and businesses after all.
The only people that you can rely upon, in the end, is our own community. To me, that would be the Indonesian students/diaspora. But even then, people come and go as everyone continues to chase their own path.
For sure, people can have a different experience. There is also no such perfect place where we like everything that is there. There will always be pros and cons. In the end, everything depends on what we wanna find/achieve and what we can tolerate.
Japan is such a beautiful country and a great place for new experiences. One that we probably can’t find elsewhere in the world. On the other hand, there is a reality that we cannot just ignore. What looks good from the distance may not be as good once we’re close enough to see.
